Saturday, May 4, 2013

Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)

playlist position: 41 - New Moon alternates (2b) #4
artist: Vertical Horizon
album: Everything You Want
track number: 4/11
year: 1999
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New Moon – Chapter 5
I wondered how long this could last. Maybe someday, years from now--if the pain would just decrease to the point where I could bear it--I would be able to look back on those few short months that would always be the best of my life. And, if it were possible that the pain would ever soften enough to allow me to do that, I was sure that I would feel grateful for as much time as he'd given me. More than I'd asked for, more that I'd deserved. Maybe someday I'd be able to see it that way.

_________________________

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had

So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had

And it may take some time to
Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had
The best I ever

The World Has Turned and Left Me Here

playlist position: 40 - New Moon alternates (2b) #3
artist: Weezer
album: Weezer (blue album)
track number: 3/10
year: 1994
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New Moon – Chapter 4
The thick haze that blurred my days now was sometimes confusing. I was surprised when I found myself in my room, not clearly remembering the drive home from school or even opening the front door. But it didn't matter. Losing track of time was the most I asked from life.

_________________________

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face

I just made love with your sweet memory
One thousand times in my head
You said you loved it more than ever, you said
You remain, turned away
Turning further everyday

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face

I talked for hours to your wallet photograph
And you just listened
You laughed enchanted by my intellect
Or maybe you didn't

You remain, turned away
Turning further everyday

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face

You remain, turned away
Turning further everyday

The world has turned and left me here
Just where I was before you appeared
And in your place an empty space
Has filled the void behind my face

The world has turned and left me here (Do you believe what I sing now?)
Just where I was before you appeared (Do you believe what I sing now?)
And in your place an empty space (Do you believe...)
Has filled the void behind my face

Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe what I sing now?
Do you believe?

Hate Me

playlist position: 39 - New Moon alternates (2b) #2
artist: Blue October
album: Foiled
track number: 5/15
year: 2006
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New Moon – Chapter 3 - Edward's perspective
"Bella, I don't want you to come with me." He spoke the words slowly and precisely, his cold eyes on my face, watching as I absorbed what he was really saying.
There was a pause as I repeated the words in my head a few times, sifting through them for their real intent.
"You... don't... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No."
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz--hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the words he'd spoken.

_________________________

Voices:
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me.

Voicemail:
”Hi Justin, this is your mother, and it's 2:33 on Monday afternoon. I was just calling to see how you ware doing. You sounded really uptight last night. It made me a little nervous, and a l... and... well... it made me nervous, it sounded like you were nervous, too. I just wanted to make sure you were really okay and wanted to see if you were checking in on your medication. You know I love you, and...
Take care honey. I know you're under a lot of pressure. See ya. Bye bye.”

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach, leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you
Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for three whole months
It’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy, I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling, “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered, “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Hate me in ways, yeah, ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
For you
For you
For you

Voices:
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming?
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me?
I can't believe you actually picked me

Voice: (repeating and slowing)
Hey Justin!

The Truth About Heaven

playlist position: 36 - New Moon (2) #23
artist: Armor For Sleep
album: What to Do When You Are Dead
track number: 3/12
year: 2005
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New Moon – Chapter 23 - Edward's perspective
"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars--points of light and reason... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything."

_________________________

Walk past my grave in the dark tonight
Saw the stone and the note you left for me
To answer your question, I just had to leave
I just had to leave

But that's not why I'm here
I came down here to tell you
It rains in heaven all day long
I wanna find you so bad and let you know
I'm miserable up here without you
Miserable up here without you

Found my way back in the dark tonight
Couldn't wake up not right next to you
I'd trade in forever to just hear you say the sound of my name

But that's not why I'm here
I came down here to tell you
It rains in heaven all day long
I wanna find you so bad and let you know
I'm miserable up here without you
Miserable up here without you

Don't believe that it's better when you leave everything behind
Don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die
Don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die

I came down here to tell you
It rains in heaven all day long (all day long)
I wanna find you so bad and let you know
I'm miserable up here without you
Miserable up here without you

I came down here to tell you
It rains in heaven all day long (all day long)
I wanna find you so bad and let you know
I'm miserable up here without you
Miserable up here without you

Don't believe that the weather is perfect the day that you die

Sound of Pulling Heaven Down

playlist position: 37 - New Moon (2) #24
artist: Blue October
album: Foiled
track number: 11/13
year: 2004
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New Moon – Chapter 24 - Edward and Bella's perspective
"Your epiphany?" he asked, his voice uneven and strained.
"You love me," I marveled. The sense of conviction and lightness washed through me again.
Though his eyes were anxious, that crooked smile I loved best flashed across his face. "Truly, I do."
My heart inflated like it was going to crack right through my ribs. It filled my chest and blocked my throat so that I could not speak.

_________________________

Somewhere, far away from here
I saw stars, stars that I could reach, yeah
It was a midnight, a silent twilight
Fell down beyond the ocean beach, yeah

I assemble all the sand that cover wedding beaches
To build a castle so your mom would have a place to stay
Behind the water slide and down the hill where heaven reaches
Land and time is left to float away, yeah

So rest assured I have the key to every opening
To every wishing well that's deep enough to dream (dream)
I want to show you just how fascinating kissing is
When earth collides with all the space between, yeah

I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more

So never look behind you
Spooky people bring you down
The world is ending
There's a party by the bay (bay)
I'll wear my suit and tie when I am (I am) toasting
To the way you put that smile upon my face, yeah

Fill up the air balloon and ride with me
Yeah, hell is jealous of the rain (rain)
Make love like time and space is ending
While befriending fate's alluring way of putting us to shame

I'm reaching farther than I ever have before
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more

You make the sound of pulling heaven down
You brought the rain's romantic pour
You make the sound
You make the sound of pulling heaven down

I'm reaching farther than I ever have before (Tired of wasting time)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore (Tired of wasting time)
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more (Go, go, go, go)

I'm reaching farther than I ever have before (Tired of wasting time)
Leaving all who broke your heart upon the shore (Tired of wasting time)
I may be some sort of crazy
We may be some sort of crazy
But I swear on everything I have and more (Go, go, go, go, go, go)

Drag

playlist position:  38 - New Moon alternates (2b) #1
artist: Placebo
album: Meds
track number: 3/13
year: 2006
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New Moon – Chapter 3
The last was the picture of Edward and me standing awkwardly side by side. Edward's face was the same as the last, cold and statue-like. But that wasn't the most troubling part of this photograph. The contrast between the two of us was painful. He looked like a god. I looked very average, even for a human, almost shamefully plain. I flipped the picture over with a feeling of disgust.

_________________________

You're always ahead of the game
I drag behind
You never get caught in the rain
When I'm drenched to the bone every time
You're the first one to swim across the Seine
I lag behind
You're always ahead of the game
While I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind

You're always ahead of the pack
I drag behind
You possess every trait that I lack
By coincidence or by design
You're the monkey I got on my back
That tells me to shine
You're always ahead of the pack
While I drag behind

I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind

You're always ahead of the rest
When I'm always on time
You got A's on your algebra test
I failed and they kept me behind
I just gotta get off my chest
That I think you're divine
You're always ahead of the rest
While I drag behind

I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind
I drag behind

Memory

playlist position: 35 - New Moon (2) #22
artist: Sugarcult
album: Palm Trees and Power Lines
track number: 3/13
year: 2004
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New Moon – Chapter 23
"Don't promise me anything," I whispered. If I let myself hope, and it came to nothing... that would kill me. Where all those merciless vampires had not been able to finish me off, hope would do the job.

_________________________

This may never start
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory
Lost your sense of fear
Feelings insincere
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted
Just like I imagine
I could never feel this way
So get back, back, back to the disaster
My heart's beating faster
Holding on to feel the same

This may never start
I'll tear us apart
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year
Waiting for you here
I'd be your anything

So get back, back, back to where we lasted
Just like I imagine
I could never feel this way
So get back, back, back to the disaster
My heart's beating faster
Holding on to feel the same

This may never start
Tearing out my heart
I'd be your memory
Lost your sense of fear
(I'd be your memory)
Feelings disappeared
Can I be your memory?

So get back, back, back to where we lasted
Just like I imagine
I could never feel this way
So get back, back, back to the disaster
My heart's beating faster
Holding on to feel the same

This may never start
We could fall apart
And I'd be your memory
Lost your sense of fear
Feelings insincere
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?

The Scientist

playlist position: 34 - New Moon (2) #21
artist: Coldplay
album: A Rush of Blood to the Head
track number: 4/11
year: 2002
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New Moon – Chapter 23 - Edward's perspective
"You weren't going to let go," he whispered. "I could see that. I didn't want to do it--it felt like it would kill me to do it--but I knew that if I couldn't convince you that I didn't love you anymore, it would just take you that much longer to get on with your life. I hoped that, if you thought I'd moved on, so would you."
"A clean break," I whispered through unmoving lips.
"Exactly. But I never imagined it would be so easy to do! I thought it would be next to impossible--that you would be so sure of the truth that I would have to lie through my teeth for hours to even plant the seed of doubt in your head. I lied, and I'm so sorry--sorry because I hurt you, sorry because it was a worthless effort. Sorry that I couldn't protect you from what I am. I lied to save you, and it didn't work. I'm sorry."

_________________________

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Stare

playlist position: 33 - New Moon (2) #20
artist: Marjorie Fair
album: Self Help Serenade
track number: 4/12
year: 2005
listen on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 22
I couldn't keep my eyes off of Edward's face for long. I stared at him, wishing more than anything that the future would never happen. That this moment would last forever, or, if it couldn't, that I would stop existing when it did.
Edward stared right back at me, his dark eyes soft, and it was easy to pretend that he felt the same way. So that's what I did. I pretended, to make the moment sweeter.

_________________________

These are things I feel
But don't wanna say
In case you feel that way
These are things I know
But don't wanna say
In case you feel that way
I'll wait another day

I can never change
The pain just makes me want to stare
At the same things I saw before
Thinking there's something more
God, it's a lonely place
Doo doo doo

I will never know
How you feel about
The things I think about
Will I get a chance to make up to you?
All that I kept from you
You know I wanted to

I can never change
The pain just makes me want to stare
At the same things I saw before
Thinking there's something more
God, it's a lonely place
Doo doo doo

Say the same things
You said before
Wanting you even more
God, it's a lonely place
Doo doo doo

I can never change
The pain just makes me want to stare
At the same things I saw before
Thinking there's something more
God, it's a lonely place
Doo doo doo

Say the same things
You said before
Wanting you even more
God, it's a lonely place
Doo doo doo

DOA

playlist position: 32 - New Moon (2) #19
artist: Foo Fighter
album: In Your Honor
track number: 4/10
year: 2005
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New Moon – Chapter 20
I wished I could ask him exactly what was going to happen now. I wanted desperately to know how we were going to die--as if that would somehow make it better, knowing in advance.

_________________________

Oh, you know I did it
It's over and I feel fine
Nothing you could say is gonna change my mind
Waited and I waited, the longest night
Nothing like the taste to sweet decline

I went down, I fell, I fell so fast
Dropping like the grains in an hourglass
Never say forever cause nothing lasts
Dancing with the bones of my buried past
Never mind there's nothing I can do
Bet your life there's something killing you

It's a shame we have to die, my dear
No one's getting out of here alive this time
What a way to go, but have no fear
No one's getting out of here alive this time

I'm finished, I'm getting you off my chest
Made you come clean in a dirty dress
A promise is a promise you kept in check
Hard to cross a heart that beats its best

Take a good hard look for the very last time
The very last one in a very long line
Only took a second to say goodbye
Been a pleasure but the pleasure's been mine, all mine
Never mind there's nothing I can do (Never mind there's nothing I can do)
Bet your life there's something killing you

It's a shame we have to die, my dear
No one's getting out of here alive this time
What a way to go, but have no fear
No one's getting out of here alive this time

Ain't no way
DOA
Ain't no way
DOA

Take a good hard look for the very last time
The very last one in a very long line
Only took a second to say goodbye
Been a pleasure but the pleasure's been mine, all mine
Never mind there's nothing I can do (Never mind there's nothing I can do)
Bet your life there's something killing you

It's a shame we have to die, my dear
No one's getting out of here alive this time
What a way to go, but have no fear
No one's getting out of here alive this time

It's a shame we have to disappear
No one's getting out of here alive
This time
This time
This time

Ya Mama

playlist position: 31 - New Moon (2) #18
artist: Fatboy Slim
album: Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars
track number: 5/11
year: 2000
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New Moon – Chapter 20
She drove in quick spurts and sudden stops, and the people in the crowd shook their fists at us and said angry words that I was glad I couldn't understand. She turned onto a little path that couldn't have been meant for cars; shocked people had to squeeze into doorways as we scraped by. We found another street at the end. The buildings were taller here; they leaned together overhead so that no sunlight touched the pavement--the thrashing red flags on either side nearly met. The crowd was thicker here than anywhere else. Alice stopped the car. I had the door open before we were at a standstill.
She pointed to where the street widened into a patch of bright openness. "There--we're at the southern end of the square. Run straight across, to the right of the clock tower. I'll find a way around--" Her breath caught suddenly, and when she spoke again, her voice was a hiss. "They're everywhere!" I froze in place, but she pushed me out of the car.
"Forget about them. You have two minutes. Go, Bella, go!" she shouted, climbing out of the car as she spoke.
I didn't pause to watch Alice melt into the shadows. I didn't stop to close my door behind me. I shoved a heavy woman out of my way and ran flat out, head down, paying little attention to anything but the uneven stones beneath my feet.

_________________________

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
(Shake what your mama gave ya)
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

(Shake what your mama gave ya)

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

(Shake what your mama gave ya)

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po
-sh the tempo


Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the temp
Push
(Shake what your mama gave ya)

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po
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tempo-po
the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po-po
-sh the tempo-po
Push the tempo-po-po
-sh the tempo-po
(Shake what your mama gave ya)
-sh the tempo-po

Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo
Push the tempo-po
-sh the tempo
Push the tempo-po
(Shake what your mama gave ya)
-sh the tempo-po
-sh the tempo-po
-sh the tempo

Sing For Absolution

playlist position: 30 - New Moon (2) #17
artist: Muse
album: Absolution
track number: 2/14
year: 2003
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 18 - Edward's perspective
"I saw him going to the Volturi... and asking to die."

_________________________

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tiptoe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace
Ooh

There's nowhere left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth burns deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace
Hey

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace
Yeah

Our wrongs remain unrectified
And our souls won't be exhumed

Never Let You Down

playlist position: 29 - New Moon (2) #16
artist: The Verve Pipe
album: Underneath
track number: 2/11
year: 2001
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New Moon – Chapter 16
"I know you don't feel exactly the way I do, Bells. I swear I don't mind. I'm just so glad that you're okay that I could sing--and that's something no one wants to hear." He laughed his throaty laugh in my ear.

_________________________

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
And I will never let you down

Your friends were all well-meaning
When they said, "no one is good enough for you"
But if they play with your emotions
Dismiss the notion and do what you have to do
Cause people don't take chances with their hearts
Since I've met you I am past the hardest part
So remember one thing
I will never let you down (I will never let you down)

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
And I will never let you down (I will never let you down)

Sometimes you feel defeated
But it's OK, you're not the only one
And all the complications
Bad situations happen to everyone
It doesn't matter how it ended or began
Sometimes the best that you can do is change your plans
I hope you understand that
I will never let you down (I will never let you down)

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
And I will never let you down (I will never let you down)

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
And I will never let you down (I will never let you down)

I'm trying to keep my feet on the ground
I'm getting to like this feeling I've found
I'm getting to love the thought of having you around
And I will never let you down (I will never let you down)
(I will never let you down)
(I will never let you down)
(I will never let you down)

Be My Escape

playlist position: 28 - New Moon (2) #15
artist: Relient K
album: Mmhmm
track number: 2/14
year: 2004
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 16
What if Paris had been Juliet's friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of her? What if Juliet knew she couldn't survive without him? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be happy?
And... what if she loved Paris? Not like Romeo. Nothing like that, of course. But enough that she wanted him to be happy, too?
Jacob's slow, deep breathing was the only sound in the room--like a lullaby hummed to a child, like the whisper of a rocking chair, like the ticking of an old clock when you had nowhere you needed to go... It was the sound of comfort.
If Romeo was really gone, never coming back, would it have mattered whether or not Juliet had taken Paris up on his offer? Maybe she should have tried to settle into the leftover scraps of the life that were left behind. Maybe that would have been as close to happiness as she could get.

_________________________

I've given up on giving up slowly
I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention
Is my one last shot at redemption
Because I know to live you must give your life away

And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way in knowing
Where to go I promise I'm going because

I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you
To be my escape

I'm giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair

Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way in knowing
Where to go I promise I'm going because

I gotta get outta here
Cause I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake
I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you
To be my escape

I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self-detained and forced to live in this mess I've made
And all I'm asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can't ask you to give what you already gave

Cause I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity
And I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out, that might be the death of me
And even though there's no way in knowing
Where to go I promise I'm going because

I've gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I've gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you
To be my escape

I fought you for so long
I should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do

And all I was trying to do
Was save my own skin
But so were you
So were you

Tautou

playlist position: 27 - New Moon (2) #14
artist: Brand New
album: Deja Entendu
track number: 1/11
year: 2003
listen on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 15
My ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. I ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was? Even as my lungs burned for more air and my legs cramped in the icy cold, I was content. I'd forgotten what real happiness felt like.
Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.

_________________________

I'm sinking like a stone in the sea
I'm burning like a bridge for your body

I'm sinking like a stone in the sea
I'm burning like a bridge for your body

I'm sinking like a stone in the sea
I'm burning like a bridge for your body

Going Under

playlist position: 26 - New Moon (2) #13
artist: Evanescence
album: Fallen
track number: 1/12
year: 2004
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 15
I smiled and raised my arms straight out, as if I were going to dive, lifting my face into the rain. But it was too ingrained from years of swimming at the public pool--feet first, first time. I leaned forward, crouching to get more spring...
And flung myself off the cliff.

_________________________

Now I will tell you what I've done for you
Fifty thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me (I'm going under)

Don't want your hand this time
I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once (Wake up for once)
Not tormented, daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom

I dive again
I'm going under (Going under)
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (Falling forever)
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies
(So I don't know what's real)
So I don't know what's real and what's not
(Don't know what's real and what's not)
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore

I dive again
I'm going under (Going under)
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (Falling forever)
I've got to break through
I

So go on and scream
Scream at me
I'm so far away (So far away)
I won't be broken again (Again)
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under

I dive again
I'm going under (Going under)
Drowning in you (Drowning in you)
I'm falling forever (Falling forever)
I've got to break through

I'm going under (Going under)
I'm going under (Drowning in you)
I'm going under

Over My Head (Cable Car)

playlist position: 25 - New Moon (2) #12
artist: The Fray
album: How to Save a Life
track number: 2/12
year: 2005
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 11
I'd thought Jake had been healing the hole in me--or at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting me so much. I'd been wrong. He'd just been carving out his own hole, so that I was now riddled through like Swiss Cheese.

_________________________

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and it's effortless
Without a sound, we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind
Everyone knows I'm in over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Blueside

playlist position: 24 - New Moon (2) #11
artist: Rooney
album: Rooney
track number: 1/11
year: 2003
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 9
I was in deeper than I'd planned to go with anyone again. Now I couldn't bear for him to be hurt, and I couldn't keep from hurting him, either. He thought time and patience would change me, and, though I knew he was dead wrong, I also knew I would let him try.
He was my best friend. I would always love him, and it would never, ever be enough.

_________________________

The colors have built up in my mind
They're bleeding through my heart
But nobody knows that they exist
Look at my bursting veins
Now do you see the red in me?
It's a sign for the end

Only the ends of the red
Will show you my blue side
Only the ends of the red
Will show you my blue side

I've been given my brush and plate
But where will I paint my life?
And will the buyer in the sky
Believe in what I dream?
And it's so hard for me to explain
What I will miss to myself 

Only the ends of the red
Will show you my blue side
Only the ends of the red

Bum bum bum bum bum bum
Bum bum bum bum bum bum

Only the ends of the red
Will show you my blue side
Only the ends of the red
Will show you my blue side

Only the ends of the red
Will show you my blue side
Only the ends of the red
Will show you my blue side

Ah
Ah
Ah

Fix You

playlist position: 23 - New Moon (2) #10
artist: Coldplay
album: X&Y
track number: 4/13
year: 2005
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 9 - Jacob's perspective
"It's just that, I know how you're unhappy a lot. And, maybe it doesn't help anything, but I wanted you to know that I'm always here. I won't ever let you down--I promise you can always count on me. Wow, that does sound corny. But you know that, right? That I would never, ever hurt you?"

_________________________

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you 

Ride

playlist position: 22 - New Moon (2) #9
artist: The Vines
album: Winning Days
track number: 1/11
year: 2004
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 8
I'd left my stomach back at the starting point; the adrenaline coursed through my body, tingling in my veins.

_________________________

Ah
That's the start, the middle, and the end
Aren't you glad the universe pretends
If I don't get this message home
Once again I'm gonna hate alone

Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me
Oh
Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me
Unless you
Yeah
Bored aloud ignore the right to be
Invite me down because we like to see
The colours through your loaded mind
Fuck the world and liberate our time

Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me
Oh
Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me
Yeah

I'm not waiting a long life
I'm not waiting alone

Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me home
Ride with me
Ride with me
Ride with me home 

Pain

playlist position:  21 - New Moon (2) #8
artist: Jimmy Eat World
album: Futures
track number: 6/11
year: 2004
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 7
I turned my back on the gaping emptiness and hurried to my truck. I nearly ran. I was anxious to be gone, to get back to the human world. I felt hideously empty, and I wanted to see Jacob. Maybe I was developing a new kind of sickness, another addiction, like the numbness before. I didn't care. I pushed my truck as fast as it would go as I barreled toward my fix.

_________________________

I don't feel the way I've ever felt
I know
Gonna smile and not get worried
I try but it shows
Anyone can make what I have built
And better now
Anyone can find the same white pills
It takes my pain away

It's a lie, a kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back
Anything but bother me
It takes my pain away
Nevermind
These are hurried times
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me

I never thought I'd walk away from you
I did
But it's a false sense of accomplishment
Every time I quit
Anyone can see my every flaw
It isn't hard
Anyone can say they're above this all
It takes my pain away

It's a lie, a kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back
Anything but bother me
It takes my pain away
Nevermind
These are hurried times
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me
I can't let it bother me

It takes my pain away
It's a lie, a kiss with open eyes
And she's not breathing back
Anything but bother me
It takes my pain away
Nevermind
These are hurried times
Oh oh oh
I can't let it bother me

Takes my pain
Takes my pain
It takes my pain
It takes my pain away

Unwell

playlist position: 20 - New Moon (2) #7
artist: Matchbox 20 
album: More Than You Think You Are
track number: 4/13
year: 2002
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 6
Charlie stared at me during breakfast, and I tried to ignore him. I supposed I deserved it. I couldn't expect him not to worry. It would probably be weeks before he stopped waiting for the return of the zombie, and I would just have to try to not let it bother me. After all, I would be watching for the return of the zombie, too. Two days was hardly long enough to call me cured.

_________________________

All day, staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night, hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Me, talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know, I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be
Something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

Empty Room

playlist position: 19 - New Moon (2) #6
artist: Marjorie Fair
album: Self Help Serenade
track number: 3/12
year: 2005
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 4
I sat down on the bench outside the theater door and tried very hard not to think of the irony. But it was ironic, all things considered, that, in the end I would wind up as a zombie. I hadn't seen that one coming.
Not that I hadn't dreamed of becoming a mythical monster once--just never a grotesque, animated corpse. I shook my head to dislodge that train of thought, feeling panicky. I couldn't afford to think about what I'd once dreamed of.
It was depressing to realize that I wasn't the heroine anymore, that my story was over.

_________________________

I'm so tired of learning to talk
Building fences on the wall
In this state I shall not remain

I don't wanna go
But if I die young
Fill my empty room with the sun
Fill my empty room with the sun
This don't matter like it did before
This don't matter much anymore

Change my mind
Or help me to try
I'm afraid I'm not satisfied
In this state I shall not remain

I don't wanna go
But if I die young
Fill my empty room with the sun
Fill my empty room with the sun
This don't matter like it did before
This don't matter much anymore

This don't matter like it did before
This don't matter much anymore

Daylight is not the same
When your stabbing at the stars in your eyes
And bleeding is what you see

This don't matter like it did before
This don't matter much anymore
This don't matter like it did before
This don't matter much anymore
This don't matter much anymore

Apocalypse Please

playlist position: 17 - New Moon (2) #4
artist: Muse
album: Absolution
track number: 2/14
year: 2003
listen on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 3
With shaky legs, ignoring the fact that my action was useless, I followed him into the forest. The evidence of his path had disappeared instantly. There were no footprints, the leaves were still again, but I walked forward without thinking. I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.

_________________________
Declare this an emergency
Come on and spread a sense of urgency
And pull us through
And pull us through
And this is the end
This is the end of the world

It's time we saw a miracle
Come on it's time for something biblical
To pull us through
And pull us through
And this is the end
This is the end of the world

Proclaim eternal victory
Come on and change the course of history
And pull us through
And pull us through
And this is the end
This is the end of the world

Time Stands Still

playlist position: 18 - New Moon (2) #5
artist: The All-American Rejects
album: The All-American Rejects
track number:  4/11
year: 2003
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 4
Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand ches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me.

_________________________

Him and her, life is turned
The day I knew you would leave
I can barely breathe
Can you hear me scream?

You, thrown in all directions
You, epitome of perfection
She's lost her will
Time is standing still

He walks her home
Now he walks alone
The days they turn into years
The eyes they drown in tears
Can you hear me scream?
You, thrown in all directions
You, epitome of perfection
She's lost her will
Time is standing still

The way we are, the way they were
(It's just a shadow of what's wrong)
The time with you, the time is stirred
(I love you for so long)
The hearts they turn, they turn away
(She says don't go, please don't you cry)
Love lost was found, night turns to day

You, thrown in all directions
You, epitome of perfection
She's lost her will
Time is standing still
You, thrown in all directions
You, epitome of perfection
She's lost her will (She's lost her will)
Time is standing still
You, you, you
Time is standing still

Hyper Music

playlist position: 16 - New Moon (2) #3
artist: Muse
album: Origin of Symmetry
track number: 4/11
year: 2001
watch on YouTube







New Moon - Chapter 3
"You... don't... want me?" I tried out the words, confused by the way they sounded, placed in that order.
"No."
I stared, uncomprehending, into his eyes. He stared back without apology. His eyes were like topaz--hard and clear and very deep. I felt like I could see into them for miles and miles, yet nowhere in their bottomless depths could I see a contradiction to the words he'd spoken.

_________________________

Your golden lies feed my role
In this forgotten space race under my control
Who's returned from the dead?
Who remains? (Just to rub it in your face)

You know that I don't want you
And I never did
I don't want you
And I never will

You wanted more than I was worth
And you think I was scared, yeah
And you needed proof
Who really cares anymore?
Who restrains? (Just to rub it in your face)

You know that I don't love you
And I never did
I don't want you
And I never will

Papercut

playlist position:  15 - New Moon (2) #2
artist: Linkin Park
album: Hybrid Theory
track number: 1/12
year: 2000
watch on YouTube






New Moon - Chapter 1
Dazed and disoriented, I looked up from the bright red blood pulsing out of my arm--into the fevered eyes of the six suddenly ravenous vampires.

_________________________

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
It's like a face that I hold inside
Like a face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me
Right underneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too
And our paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but
Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too
Right inside your skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

The face inside is right beneath your skin
The face inside is right beneath your skin
The face inside is right beneath your skin

The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me
The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back (the sun)
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin (I feel the light betray me)

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back (the sun)
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within (I feel the light betray me)
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin (ah)

Do You Realize??

playlist position:  14 - New Moon (2) #1
artist: The Flaming Lips
album: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
track number: 9/11
year: 2002
watch on YouTube







New Moon - Chapter 1
I'd been dreading this day for months.
All through the perfect summer--the happiest summer I had ever had, the happiest summer anyone anywhere had ever had, and the rainiest summer in the history of the Olympic Peninsula--this bleak date had lurked in ambush, waiting to spring.
And now that it had hit, it was even worse that I'd feared it would be. I could feel it--I was older.
Every day I got older, but this was different, worse, quantifiable. I was eighteen.
And Edward never would be.

_________________________

Do you realize that you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize we're floating in space?
Do you realize that happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize?
Oh oh oh
Do you realize that everyone you know someday will die?

And instead of saying all of your goodbyes
Let them know you realize that life goes fast
It's hard to make the good things last
You realize the sun doesn't go down
It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

Do you realize that you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel)

playlist position:  13 - Twilight (1) #13
artist: Billy Joel
album: River of Dreams
track number: 7/10
year: 1993
watch on YouTube







Twilight - Epilogue
"I love you more than everything else in the world combined. Isn't that enough?"
"Yes, it is enough," he answered, smiling. "Enough for forever."
And he leaned down to press his cold lips once more to my throat.

_________________________

Goodnight, my angel
Time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go
No matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an emerald bay

And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep
Inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel
Now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child may cry
And if you sing this lullaby
Then in your heart
There will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone
But lullabies go on and on
They never die
That's how you and I will be

Dreams

playlist position:  12 - Twilight (1) #12
artist: The Cranberries
album: Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We?
track number: 2/12
year: 1993
watch on YouTube







Twilight - Chapter 24
"I'll be the first to admit that I have no experience with relationships," I said. "But it just seems logical... a man and woman have to be somewhat equal... as in, one of them can't always be swooping in and saving the other one. They have to save each other equally."
He folded his arms on the side of my bed and rested his chin on his arms. His expression was smooth, the anger reined in. Evidently he'd decided he wasn't angry with me. I hoped I'd get a chance to warn Alice before he caught up with her.
"You have saved me," he said quietly.
"I can't always be Lois Lane," I insisted. "I want to be Superman, too."

_________________________
Oh, my life is changing everyday
In every possible way
And oh, my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
Never quite as it seems

I know I've felt like this before
But now I'm feeling it even more
Because it came from you
And then I open up and see
The person falling here is me
A different way to be

Ah
La da
La da da
La ah yah
La ah ah
I want more
Impossible to ignore
Impossible to ignore
And they'll come true
Impossible not to do
Impossible not to do

And now I tell you openly
You have my heart so don't hurt me
You're what I couldn't find

A totally amazing mind
So understanding and so kind
You're everything to me

Oh, my life
Is changing every day
In every possible way

And oh, my dreams
It's never quite as it seems
'Cause you're a dream to me
Dream to me

Ah da da da da da la
Ah da da da la
Ah da da da
La la

Tremble for My Beloved

playlist position: 11 - Twilight (1) #11
artist: Collective Soul
album: Dosage  /  Twilight Soundtrack
track number: 1/12  /  7/15
year: 1999  /  2008
listen on YouTube







Twilight - Chapter 24
"You don't know what you're asking." His voice was soft; he stared intently at the edge of the pillowcase.
"I think I do."
"Bella, you don't know. I've had almost ninety years to think about this, and I'm still not sure."

_________________________

The hour has begun
Your eyes have now opened
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope's enslaved
Oh, I tremble for my love always

Your windows opened wide
Your innocence takes flight
To a world where madness craves
To a world where hope's enslaved
Oh, I tremble for my love always

It's a world where madness craves
It's a world where hope's enslaved
Oh, I tremble for my love always

It's a world where madness craves
It's a world where hope's enslaved
Yeah, I tremble for you love always

Time Is Running Out

playlist position:  10 - Twilight (1) #10
artist: Muse
album: Absolution
track number: 3/14
year: 2003
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Twilight - Chapter 21
Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick wall of pain. To plan. For I had no choice now but one: to go to the mirrored room and die. I had no guarantees, nothing to give to keep my mother alive. I could only hope that James would be satisfied with winning the game, that beating Edward would be enough. Despair gripped me; there was no way to bargain, nothing I could offer or withhold that could influence him. But I still had no choice. I had to try.
I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did no good to waste time agonizing over the outcome. I had to think clearly, because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and evading them was absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.

_________________________

I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I wanna break this spell
That you've created
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
I wanna play the game
I want the friction

You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out

I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
Now that you know I'm trapped
Sense of elation
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation

You will squeeze the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh

You will suck the life out of me
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah
Oh yeah yeah

Here With Me

playlist position:  9 - Twilight (1) #9
artist: Dido
album: No Angel
track number: 1/12
year: 1999
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Twilight - Chapter 15
"I love you," I whispered.
"You are my life now," he answered simply.
There was nothing more to say for the moment. He rocked us back and forth as the room grew lighter.

_________________________

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
And I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory

Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been

Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me
And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

Oh, I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
And I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here
And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

And I won't leave
And I can't hide
I cannot be
Until you're resting here with me

Please Forgive Me

playlist position:  8 - Twilight (1) #8
artist: David Gray
album: White Ladder
track number: 1/10
year: 1998
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Twilight - Chapter 13
"Be very still," he whispered, as if I wasn't already frozen.
Slowly, never moving his eyes from mine, he leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, he rested his cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat. I was quite unable to move, even if I'd wanted to. I listened to the sound of his even breathing, watching the sun and wind play in his bronze hair, more human than any other part of him.
With deliberate slowness, his hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard him catch his breath. But his hands didn't pause as they softly moved to my shoulders, and then stopped.
His face drifted to the side, his nose skimming across my collarbone. He came to rest with the side of his face pressed tenderly against my chest. Listening to my heart.
"Ah," he sighed.

_________________________

Please forgive me
If I act a little strange
For I know not what I do
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Every time I look at you
Every time I look at you

Help me out here
All my words are falling short
And there's so much I want to say
Want to tell you just how good it feels
When you look at me that way
When you look at me that way

Throw a stone and watch the ripples flow
Moving out across the bay
Like a stone, I fall into your eyes
Deep into that mystery
Ah, deep into some mystery

I got half a mind to scream out loud
I got half a mind to die
So I won't ever have to lose you girl
Won't ever have to say goodbye
I won't ever have to lie
Won't ever have to say goodbye

Whoa, I
Whoa, I
Whoa, I

Please forgive me
If I act a little strange
For I know not what I do
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Every time I look at you
Every time I look at you
Every time I look at you
Every time I look at you

Dreaming

playlist position:  7 - Twilight (1) #7
artist: Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark (OMD)
album: The Best of OMD
track number: 15/18
year: 1998
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Twilight - Chapter 12
He was too perfect, I realized with a piercing stab of despair. There was no way this god-like creature could be meant for me.
He stared at me, bewildered by my tortured expression.
"Do you want to go home?" he said quietly, a different pain than mine saturating his voice.
"No." I walked forward till I was close beside him, anxious not to waste one second of whatever time I might have with him.

_________________________

If you were born in heaven, girl
I'd understand so well
But ever since I met you, child
You've made my life such hell
With every day that passes
I fall nearer to the ground
It seems that I've been looking for
Something that won't be found

I was only dreaming
I was only trying to catch your eye
I was only wishing you would notice me
Instead you said goodbye

Could this be the new answer then
To all the dreams we've made
Could there be some solution please
To rid me of this craze
But every single second that you
Hold me in your arms
You build me up you raise me up
You kill me with your charms

I was only dreaming
I was only trying to catch your eye
I was only wishing you would notice me
Instead you said goodbye

Won't you stay here tonight?
Won't you make these feelings last?
Can't we start this all again?
Would that be just too much to ask?

I was only dreaming
I was only trying to catch your eye
I was only wishing you would notice me
Instead you said goodbye

I was only dreaming
I was only trying to catch your eye
I was only wishing you would notice me
Instead you said goodbye

By Myself

playlist position: 6 - Twilight (1) #6
artist: Linkin Park
album: Hybrid Theory
track number: 7/12
year: 2000
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                                                                                                                                              Twilight - Chapter 8
It seemed to take forever for me to get to the corner. I kept my pace steady, the men behind me falling ever so slightly farther behind with every step. Maybe they realized they had scared me and were sorry. I saw two cars going north past the intersection I was heading for, and I exhaled in relief. There would be more people around once I got off this deserted street. I skipped around the corner with a grateful sigh.
And skidded to a stop.
The street was lined on both sides by blank, doorless, windowless walls. I could see in the distance, two intersections down, streetlamps, cars, and more pedestrians, but they were all too far away. Because lounging against the western building, midway down the street, were the other two men from the group, both watching with excited smiles as I froze dead on the sidewalk. I realized then that I wasn't being followed.
I was being herded.

_________________________

What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams?
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I try to catch them red-handed?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?
Because I can't hold on when I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again
By myself (myself)

I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself (myself)
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

If I turn my back I’m defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on
Then they’ll take from me ‘till everything is gone
If I let them go I’ll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun
If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer
By myself (myself)

I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself (myself)
I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

How do you think I’ve lost so much?
I'm so afraid that I'm out of touch
How do you expect I will know what to do
When all I know is what you tell me to?

Don’t you know?
I can’t tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I can’t seem to convince myself why
I’m stuck on the outside

Don’t you know?
I can’t tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I can’t seem to convince myself why
I’m stuck on the outside

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking in

I can’t hold on
To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in
I can’t hold on
To anything watching everything spin
With thoughts of failure sinking