Vindicated

playlist position: 61 - Eclipse (3) #10
artist: Dashboard Confessional
album: Music from and Inspired by Spider-Man 2
track number: 1/15
year: 2004
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Eclipse – Chapter 21 - Jacob's perspective
He laughed with me, and then his eyes were sad. “When are you finally going to figure out that you’re in love with me, too?”
“Leave it to you to ruin the moment.”
“I’m not saying you don’t love him. I’m not stupid. But it’s possible to love more than one person at a time, Bella. I’ve seen it in action.”

_________________________

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated

I am vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear, I'm right
I swear, I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that

I am vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear, I'm right
I swear, I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So turn up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment
Fall forever

Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear, I'm right
I swear, I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

Slight hope, it dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

Love Me Like You

playlist position: 60 - Eclipse (3) #9
artist: The Magic Numbers
album: The Magic Numbers
track number: 5/12
year: 2005
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Eclipse – Chapter15 - Edward's and Jacob's perspective
“One more thing,” Edward said slowly. “I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I’m not taking anything for granted, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.”
“Good,” Jacob growled. “It’s no fun beating someone who forfeits.”
“She is mine.” Edward’s low voice was suddenly dark, not as composed as before. “I didn’t say I would fight fair.”
“Neither did I.”

_________________________

Don't let your white dress wear you out
Oh honey, it's the look in your eyes
Oh, 'cause honey, I can see you
All my life, I'd hurt the ones I loved
But baby, you could turn it round

She don't love me like you
She don't know what you do
And it's so hard
She don't care what you say
So just say it, say it anyway
It's so hard

All my life
Oh, they tried to push me down
Oh, but baby, you can turn it round
Oh, but honey, I still see you

Don't let your friends tell you why
'Cause I'm a bad, bad, bad
I'm the one
Oh, but baby, you can turn it on

She don't love me like you
She don't know what you do
And it's so hard
She don't care what you say
So just say it, say it anyway
It's so hard

All those years gone by
I only want to find a way to make it hard for you
All those years gone by
I only want to find a way to make it hard for you

You'll never forget it
The way that she wished she don't feel the same
I only want to find a way to make it hard for you
(Don't fail me now, don't fail me now, don't fail me now, don't fail me now)
Oh, she'll never forget it
The way that she wished she don't feel the same, no
(Don't fail me now, don't fail me now, don't fail me now, don't fail me now)
I only want to find a way
I only wanna find
I only wanna find

She don't love me like you
She don't love me like you
She don't love me like you
She don't love me like you
She don't love
No, she don't

New Born

playlist position: 59 - Eclipse (3) #8
artist: Muse
album: Origin of Symmetry
track number: 1/12
year: 2001
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Eclipse – Chapter 13
“Benito had created an army of newborn vampires. He was the first one to think of it, and, in the
beginning, he was unstoppable. Very young vampires are volatile, wild, and almost impossible to control. One newborn can be reasoned with, taught to restrain himself, but ten, fifteen together are a nightmare."

_________________________

Link it to the world
Link it to yourself
Stretch it like a birth squeeze
The love for what you hide
The bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born
When you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere

Hopeless time to roam
The distance to your home
Fades away to nowhere
How much are you worth
You can't come down to earth
You're swelling up, you're unstoppable

'Cause you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere

Destroy the spineless
Show me it's real
Wasting our last chance
To come away
Just break the silence
'Cause I'm drifting away
Away from you

Link it to the world
Link it to yourself
Stretch it like it's a birth squeeze
And the love for what you hide
And the bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born

When you've seen, seen
Too much, too young, young
Soulless is everywhere

Destroy the spineless
Show me it's real
Wasting their last chance
To come away
Just break the silence
'Cause I'm drifting away
Away from you

Mr. Brightside

playlist position: 58 - Eclipse (3) #7
artist: The Killers
album: Hot Fuss
track number: 2/11
year: 2004
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Eclipse – Chapter 10 - Edward's perspective
As I turned away from him, I thought I saw a flash of something in his eyes that I wasn't supposed to see. I couldn't tell for sure what it was exactly. Worry, maybe. For a second I thought it was panic. But I was probably just making something out of nothing, as usual.

Chapter 22 - Edward's perspective
"The jealousy... it has to be eating at you. You can't be as sure of yourself as you seem. Unless you have no emotions at all."
"Of course it is," Edward agreed, no longer amused. "Right now it's so bad that I can barely control my voice. Of course, it's even worse when she's away from me, with you, and I can't see her."
"Do you think about it all the time?" Jacob whispered. "Does it make it hard to concentrate when she's not with you?"
"Yes and no," Edward said; he seemed determined to answer honestly. "My mind doesn't work quite the same as yours. I can think of many more things at one time. Of course, that means that I'm always able to think of you, always able to wonder if that's where her mind is, when she's quiet and thoughtful."

_________________________

I'm coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta, gotta be down because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke and she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
I just can’t look its killing me and taking control

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside

I'm coming out of my cage and I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta, gotta be down because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke and she’s taking a drag
Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick
And it’s all in my head
But she’s touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
'Cause I just can’t look its killing me and taking control

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Swimming through sick lullabies
Choking on your alibis
But it’s just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
‘Cause I’m Mr. Brightside

I never
I never
I never
I never

The Small Print

playlist position: 57 - Eclipse (3) #6
artist: Muse
album: Absolution
track number: 11/15
year: 2003
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Eclipse – Chapter 8 - Jacob's perspective
“Will you never forgive me, Jacob?” I whispered. As soon as I said the words, I wished I hadn’t. I didn’t want to hear his answer.
“You won’t be Bella anymore,” he told me. “My friend won’t exist. There’ll be no one to forgive.”

_________________________

Take, take all you need
And I'll compensate your greed
With broken hearts
Sell, I'll sell your memories
For fifteen pounds per year
But just the good days

Say it'll make you insane
And it's bending the truth
You're to blame
For all the life that you'll lose
And you watch this space
But I'm going all the way
And be my slave to the grave
I'm a priest God never paid

Hope, and I hope you've seen the light
'Cause no one really cares
They're just pretending
Sell, and I'll sell your memories for fifteen pounds per year
But you can keep the bad days

Say it'll make you insane
And I'm bending the truth
You're to blame
For all the life that you'll lose
And you watch this space
And I'm going all the way
And be my slave to the grave
I'm a priest God never paid

Say it'll make you insane
And I'm bending the truth
You're to blame
For all the life that you'll lose
And you watch this space
And I'm going all the way
And be my slave to the grave
I'm a priest God never paid

Stab My Back

playlist position: 56 - Eclipse (3) #5
artist: The All-American Rejects
album: Move Along
track number: 2/12
year: 2005
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Eclipse – Chapter 8 - Jacob's perspective
“Don’t worry about me,” he insisted, smiling with deliberate cheer, too brightly. “I know what I’m doing. Just tell me if I’m upsetting you.”

_________________________

Now we're broken on the floor
She just wants me to share her
It hasn't been this way before
She just wants me to dare her

The phone rings (the phone rings) and she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
You walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

And every time he held you close
Yeah, were you thinking of me
When I needed you the most
Well, I hope that you're happy

The phone rings (the phone rings) and she screams

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
You walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It's better when I bleed for you

I hope that love he gave you
Was just enough to save you
You nearly broke my heart
Just look at what you're tearing apart

Stab my back
It's better when I bleed for you
You walk on me
It never was enough to do
I can't get past her
Falling fast
It's true
It hasn't done a lot for you

It's better when I bleed for you
It never was enough to do
It hasn't done a lot for you

Hamburg Song

playlist position: 55 - Eclipse (3) #4
artist: Keane
album: Under the Iron Sea
track number: 6/13
year: 2006
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Eclipse – Chapter 3 - Jacob's perspective
Jacob dropped the antagonistic façade completely. It was like he’d forgotten Edward was there, or at least he was determined to act that way. “I miss you every day, Bella. It’s not the same without you.”

_________________________

I don't wanna be adored
Don't wanna be first in line
Or make myself heard
I'd like to bring a little light
To shine a light on your life
To make you feel loved

No, don't wanna be the only one you know
I wanna be the place you call home
I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
I give much more than I'd ever ask for

Will you see me in the end?
Or is it just a waste of time
Trying to be your friend?
Just shine, shine, shine
Shine a little light
Shine a light on my life
And warm me up again

Fool, I wonder if you know yourself at all
You know that it could be so simple
I lay myself down to make it so
But you don't want to know
I give much more than I'd ever ask for

Say a word or two to brighten my day
Do you think that you could see your way
To lay yourself down and make it so
But you don't want to know
You take much more than I'd ever ask for

Overweight

playlist position: 54 - Eclipse (3) #3
artist: Blue October
album: Foiled
track number: 8/15
year: 2006
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Eclipse – Chapter 1 - Jacob's perspective
“Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more important than some whim to drop in on an old
friend. Jacob is in pain.” My voice distorted around the word. “I can’t not try to help him—I can’t give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because he’s not human all the time... Well, he was there for me when I was... not so human myself. You don’t know what it was like...” I hesitated. Edward’s arms were rigid around me; his hands were in fists now, the tendons standing out. “If Jacob hadn’t helped me... I’m not sure what you would have come home to. I owe him better than this, Edward.”

_________________________

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long? (Ha)
(Excuse me)

I want to carry a piece of who I was before
So when I hit the wall, I really hit the wall
I want to tear away the death again (Death again)
A whiter shade of fucking meth again (Meth again)
I want to stick to clues
I want to come unglued
I want to shape the world to fit the way you move
Oh, should I listen for a dress size?

I owned up, I've grown up
Do you remember me?
I showed up and so what if I'm the used-to-be
I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry I was sorry
But I'm happy that you're happy
This is no longer about me

Trade rules, switch sides for your beautiful eyes
Let him be you through your beautiful cries
Let him hold you up so you can touch affordable skies
Live your life just like a dream
Without the pain of goodbyes (Goodbye)

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long?

I been a drunk, disrespectful little street punk
Unlock the back of my trunk
You see, you take this bat
And bash my head into the street again (Street again)
No one's around, so I keep beating it (Yeah)

Pull my hair back, look me in the eye
There's a self-destructive meaning in the bleeding of a guy
It's the guilt of what reality has given me (Reality) (Given me)
Making sense of all mistakes and my stupidity

And when you're sick, you seem to think you've failed eternally
And that the people you let in are only crumbling (Crumbling)
When you're sick of faking life in this recovery
When my decision paved the road that lies in front of me

So to my friends that even call but I don't call back (Call back)
I want you deep inside my heart upon a hill (In my heart, yeah)
It seems to hide sometimes and run away and wonder
I'm really sick of saying sorry but I will

Ever carried the weight of another? (When I needed you)
For how long? (Where were you? Where were you?)
I walk as far as they need to recover
For how long? (Where were you?)

But are we scared to take the ride?
Or dare to look inside?
I'm floating far away (Far away)
I'm floating far away (Whoa)
I'm floating far away (So far away)
(Leaving home)
I'm floating far away

I want to learn to walk with others as an equal
I want to treat the ones who love me with respect (Floating far away)
I want to tell the world I'll give them all a piggyback
And try to take away my negative effect (Floating far away)
I want to kiss a girl and know I'll never lie again
I want to call my dad and tell him that I care
I want to let my brother know he saved my life a thousand times
Throughout the years he's been my friend who's always there

Floating far away
Floating far away
Floating far away

Ever carried the weight of another?
For how long?

Clocks

playlist position: 53 - Eclipse (3) #2
artist: Coldplay
album: A Rush of Blood to the Head
track number: 5/11
year: 2002
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Eclipse – Chapter 1
“I thought the timing was still undecided,” Edward reminded me softly. “You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences you’ve never had.”
“I’ll get to those afterward.”
“They won’t be human experiences afterward. You don’t get a second chance at humanity, Bella.”

_________________________

Lights go out and I can't be saved
Tides that I tried to swim against
You've put me down upon my knees
Oh, I beg, I beg and plead
Singing
'Come out of things unsaid'
Shoot an apple of my head
And a trouble that can't be named
Tigers waiting to be tamed
Singing you are, you are

Confusion never stops
Closing walls and ticking clocks
Gonna come back and take you home
I could not stop
That you now know
Singing 'Come out upon my seas'
Curse missed opportunities
Am I a part of the cure
Or am I part of the disease?

Singing 'You are'
You are
You are
You are
You are
You are

And nothing else compares
Oh no, nothing else compares
And nothing else compares

You are

Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go
Home, home, where I wanted to go

Mexican Standoff

playlist position: 52 - Eclipse (3) #1
artist: Elbow
album: Leaders of the Free World
track number: 7/11
year: 2005
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Eclipse – Chapter 1 - Jacob's perspective
"What part of 'mortal enemies' is too complicated for you...?"

_________________________

Shifting my weight now from foot to foot
What did she see in this man?
I'm not superstitious
But if I can get this ball in the basket
Then he'll wake up dead

Your sweet reassurances don't change the fact
That he's better looking than me
Yet he'd look ideal 'neath the wheels of a car
Oh, Mexican standoff
I wish I was hard, yeah

Your sweet reassurances don't change the fact
That he's better looking than me
Yet he'd look ideal 'neath the wheels of a car
Oh, Mexican standoff
I wish I was hard

The Reason

playlist position: 51 - New Moon alternates (2b) #14
artist: Hoobastank
album: The Reason
track number: 8/12
year: 2003
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New Moon – Chapter 23 - Edward's perspective
"I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving was the only way. If I hadn't thought you would be better off, I could have never made myself leave. I'm much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted... what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I'll never be strong enough to leave again."

_________________________

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

And the reason is you
And the reason is you
And the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

White Flag

playlist position: 50 - New Moon alternates (2b) #13
artist: Dido
album: Life For Rent
track number:  1/12
year: 2003
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New Moon – Chapter 20
I'd never seen anything more beautiful—even as I ran, gasping and screaming, I could appreciate that. And the last seven months meant nothing. And his words in the forest meant nothing. And it did not matter if he did not want me. I would never want anything but him, no matter how long I lived.

_________________________

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
Or tell you that
But if I didn't say it, well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
Destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of 'it's over'
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet, which I'm sure we will
All that was there, will be there still
I'll let it pass and hold my tongue
And you will think that I've moved on

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Unintended

playlist position: 49 - New Moon alternates (2b) #12
artist: Muse
album: Showbiz
track number: 6/12
year: 1999
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New Moon – Chapter 16

I couldn't imagine my life without Jacob now—I cringed away from the idea of even trying to imagine
that. Somehow, he'd become essential to my survival. But to leave things the way they were… was that cruel, as Mike had accused?
I remembered wishing that Jacob were my brother. I realized now that all I really wanted was a claim on him. It didn't feel brotherly when he held me like this. It just felt nice—warm and comforting and familiar. Safe. Jacob was a safe harbor.
I could stake a claim. I had that much within my power.

_________________________

You could be my unintended choice
To live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens
To my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces
Of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended choice
To live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces
Of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces
Of the life I had before
Before you

I Miss You

playlist position: 48 - New Moon alternates (2b) #11
artist: Blink-182
album: Blink-182
track number: 3/14
year: 2003
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New Moon – Chapter 15
"Bella."
I smiled and exhaled.
Yes? I didn't answer out loud, for fear that the sound of my voice would shatter the beautiful illusion. He sounded so real, so close. It was only when he was disapproving like this that I could hear the true memory of his voice--the velvet texture and the musical intonation that made up the most perfect of all voices.
"Don't do this," he pleaded.
You wanted me to be human, I reminded him. Well, watch me.
"Please. For me."
But you won't stay with me any other way.
"Please." It was just a whisper in the blowing rain that tossed my hair and drenched my clothes--making me as wet as if this were my second jump of the day.

_________________________

(I miss you, miss you)

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
And we'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night, we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)

Where are you?
And I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
The Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop the pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

I miss you (miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Not the One

playlist position: 47 - New Moon alternates (2b) #10

                         124 - Midnight Sun (1.5) #6
artist: Collective Soul
album: Dosage
track number: 10/12
year: 1999
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New Moon – Chapter 13
"Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?"
"I'm nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special," I explained, shrugging weakly.

_________________________

I waltzed around you seven times
Only to become a melody you never sang
I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one

Clouds of thought
You filter through
Never to reason
While patiently your world still bleeds
Who shall be your one?
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

I waltzed around you seven times
Only to become a melody you never sang
I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Not the one
Not the one

Rest in Pieces

playlist position: 46 - New Moon alternates (2b) #9
artist: Saliva
album: Back into Your System
track number: 8/12
year: 2002
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New Moon – Chapter 9
How could I explain so that he would understand? I was an empty shell. Like a vacant house--condemned--for month I'd been utterly uninhabitable. Now I was a little improved. The front room was in better repair. But that was all--just the one small piece. He deserved better than that--better than a one-room, falling-down fixer-upper. No amount of investment on his part could put me back in working order.

_________________________

Look at me
My depth perception must be off again
'Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine

You look so beautiful tonight
Reminds me how you laid us down
And gently smiled
Before you destroyed my life

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces, pieces)

Look at me
My depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands

Would could you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)
Find it in your heart (Would you find it in your heart?)
(Would you let me rest in pieces?)
(Would you find it in your heart?)
(Would you let me rest in pieces?)
(Would you find it in your heart?)
(Would you let me rest in pieces?)

Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

playlist position: 45 - New Moon alternates (2b) #8
artist: U2
album: All That You Can't Leave Behind
track number: 2/11
year: 2000
listen on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 7
I'd come full circle, and not everything felt like an echo--an empty echo, devoid of the interest it used to have.

_________________________

I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you, oh
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere, baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake the colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool to worry like you do
I know it's tough and you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'till you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping
For me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass

And if the night runs over (And if, if the night runs over)
And if the day won't last (And if the day won't last)
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

Like a Stone

playlist position: 44 - New Moon alternates (2b) #7
artist: Audioslave
album: Audioslave
track number: 5/14
year: 2002
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New Moon – Chapter 7
I didn't go any closer. I didn't want to look in the windows. I wasn't sure which would be harder to see. If the rooms were bare, echoing empty from floor to ceiling, that would certainly hurt. Like my grandmother's funeral, when my mother had insisted that I stay outside during the viewing. She has said that I didn't need to see Gran that way, to remember her that way, rather than alive.
But wouldn't it be worse if there were no change? It the couches sat just as I'd last seen them, the paintings on the walls--worse still, the piano on its low platform? It would be second only to the house disappearing all together, to see that there was no physical possession that tied them in anyway. That everything remained, untouched and forgotten, behind them.
Just like me.

_________________________

On a cold wet afternoon
In a room full of emptiness by a freeway
I confess I was lost in the pages of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

In your house, I long to be
Room by room
Patiently, I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone

And on my deathbed, I will pray to the gods and the angels
Like a pagan 
To anyone who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised, the wine was bled
And there you led me on

In your house, I long to be
Room by room
Patiently, I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
Alone

And on I read until the day was gone
And I sat in regret of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed and all that I've wronged
In dreams, until my death, I will wonder on

In your house, I long to be
Room by room
Patiently, I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
Alone

Everybody's Changing

playlist position: 43 - New Moon alternates (2b) #6
artist: Keane
album: Hopes and Fears
track number: 4/12
year: 2004
watch on YouTube

New Moon – Chapter 6

I was beginning to get annoyed with myself. I might as well have been packed in Styrofoam peanuts through the last semester.
_________________________

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it, I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing and I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'Cause everybody's changing and I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

So little time
Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

Oh, everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

My Immortal

playlist position: 42 - New Moon alternates (2b) #5
artist: Evanescence
album: Fallen
track number: 4/12
year: 2003
watch on YouTube







New Moon – Chapter 5
As if he'd never existed, I thought in despair. What a stupid and impossible promise to make! He could steal my pictures and reclaim his gifts, but that didn't put things back the way they'd been before I'd met him. The physical evidence was the most insignificant part of the equation. I was changed, my insides altered almost past the point of recognition.

_________________________

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Me
Me