Not the One

playlist position: 47 - New Moon alternates (2b) #10

                         124 - Midnight Sun (1.5) #6
artist: Collective Soul
album: Dosage
track number: 10/12
year: 1999
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New Moon – Chapter 13
"Is that what happened? Why the Cullens left?"
"I'm nothing but a human, after all. Nothing special," I explained, shrugging weakly.

_________________________

I waltzed around you seven times
Only to become a melody you never sang
I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one

Clouds of thought
You filter through
Never to reason
While patiently your world still bleeds
Who shall be your one?
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

I waltzed around you seven times
Only to become a melody you never sang
I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Oh, I'm not the one
Not the one
Not the one

Rest in Pieces

playlist position: 46 - New Moon alternates (2b) #9
artist: Saliva
album: Back into Your System
track number: 8/12
year: 2002
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New Moon – Chapter 9
How could I explain so that he would understand? I was an empty shell. Like a vacant house--condemned--for month I'd been utterly uninhabitable. Now I was a little improved. The front room was in better repair. But that was all--just the one small piece. He deserved better than that--better than a one-room, falling-down fixer-upper. No amount of investment on his part could put me back in working order.

_________________________

Look at me
My depth perception must be off again
'Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did
It has not healed with time
It just shot down my spine

You look so beautiful tonight
Reminds me how you laid us down
And gently smiled
Before you destroyed my life

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces, pieces)

Look at me
My depth perception must be off again
You got much closer than I thought you did
I'm in your reach
You held me in your hands

Would could you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?
Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces?

Would you find it in your heart
To make this go away
And let me rest in pieces? (Let me rest in pieces)
Find it in your heart (Would you find it in your heart?)
(Would you let me rest in pieces?)
(Would you find it in your heart?)
(Would you let me rest in pieces?)
(Would you find it in your heart?)
(Would you let me rest in pieces?)

Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

playlist position: 45 - New Moon alternates (2b) #8
artist: U2
album: All That You Can't Leave Behind
track number: 2/11
year: 2000
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New Moon – Chapter 7
I'd come full circle, and not everything felt like an echo--an empty echo, devoid of the interest it used to have.

_________________________

I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you, oh
You gotta stand up straight
Carry your own weight
These tears are going nowhere, baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake the colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted by the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

And you are such a fool to worry like you do
I know it's tough and you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'till you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping
For me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if our way should falter
Along the stony pass

And if the night runs over (And if, if the night runs over)
And if the day won't last (And if the day won't last)
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

Like a Stone

playlist position: 44 - New Moon alternates (2b) #7
artist: Audioslave
album: Audioslave
track number: 5/14
year: 2002
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New Moon – Chapter 7
I didn't go any closer. I didn't want to look in the windows. I wasn't sure which would be harder to see. If the rooms were bare, echoing empty from floor to ceiling, that would certainly hurt. Like my grandmother's funeral, when my mother had insisted that I stay outside during the viewing. She has said that I didn't need to see Gran that way, to remember her that way, rather than alive.
But wouldn't it be worse if there were no change? It the couches sat just as I'd last seen them, the paintings on the walls--worse still, the piano on its low platform? It would be second only to the house disappearing all together, to see that there was no physical possession that tied them in anyway. That everything remained, untouched and forgotten, behind them.
Just like me.

_________________________

On a cold wet afternoon
In a room full of emptiness by a freeway
I confess I was lost in the pages of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good, we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

In your house, I long to be
Room by room
Patiently, I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone

And on my deathbed, I will pray to the gods and the angels
Like a pagan 
To anyone who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised, the wine was bled
And there you led me on

In your house, I long to be
Room by room
Patiently, I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
Alone

And on I read until the day was gone
And I sat in regret of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed and all that I've wronged
In dreams, until my death, I will wonder on

In your house, I long to be
Room by room
Patiently, I'll wait for you there
Like a stone
I'll wait for you there alone
Alone

Everybody's Changing

playlist position: 43 - New Moon alternates (2b) #6
artist: Keane
album: Hopes and Fears
track number: 4/12
year: 2004
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New Moon – Chapter 6

I was beginning to get annoyed with myself. I might as well have been packed in Styrofoam peanuts through the last semester.
_________________________

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it, I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing and I don't know why

So little time
Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'Cause everybody's changing and I don't feel right

So little time
Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

So little time
Try to understand that I'm trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

Oh, everybody's changing and I don't feel the same

My Immortal

playlist position: 42 - New Moon alternates (2b) #5
artist: Evanescence
album: Fallen
track number: 4/12
year: 2003
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New Moon – Chapter 5
As if he'd never existed, I thought in despair. What a stupid and impossible promise to make! He could steal my pictures and reclaim his gifts, but that didn't put things back the way they'd been before I'd met him. The physical evidence was the most insignificant part of the equation. I was changed, my insides altered almost past the point of recognition.

_________________________

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
Me
Me